One year ago, I went to the doctor and discovered that I had a lump in my breast. I was told it was nothing to worry about because there was some pain associated with it and that it was more than likely a cist. Well, one year has gone by and we have recently discovered another lump, and this time no pain.
After a lot of procrastination, I finally made an appointment for the dreaded mammogram. I was a little freaked out, I will admit, waiting for the testing date. When the day finally arrived, I did the mammogram and the ultrasound. When the doctor came back into the room I wanted to die. The words that came out of her mouth were straight forward and honest and scared me to death.
Yesterday I was told that the lumps in my breast are not cists, they are not limp nowds, and they are not the type of cancer that you can see. What I was told, was that there is a certain type of breast cancer that will not show up on these tests. I have been scheduled for a surgical consult to try and figure out what it is. Because at this point, they are not sure what it is. I have to tell you that this is the hardest news I have ever received in my entire life. I can not even put into words how I feel at this moment. All that I do know is that I am trying not to cry at all times and I am trying to act like nothing is wrong for the sake of our children. How do you tell your children something like this? I mean, who they even be able to understand. Telling my mother was bad enough, I tried not to have to tell my mother in law, but she could her something in my voice and told my sister in law that she thought that I did not like her anymore.
I do not know how to deal with this, I am not sure how to feel, or how to act. All that I do know is that I have got to try and hold it together for the sake of my family, when all that I want to do is to fall apart. Everyone keeps asking "What can I do" and all that I seem to be able to spit out is "pray". I just want to cry, I want to fall apart to tell you the truth, I want to stay in bed and not get out until it is all over with. Getting up to go to class this morning was very hard. Even writing blogs today was a major push. It is 11:30 and I am finally making myself write them.
How do I do this? How do I stay positive? How do I do what is right for the sake of my children and my family? I want to cry at every moment, I have never been this scared in my life and I am not sure how to feel.
Friday, April 23, 2010
Friday, April 16, 2010
FBI searched Police Department’s evidence storage
When I first started to read this article, it really did not make much sense. It starts of by saying that the FBI searched the Galena Kansas evidence storage searching for an item which was easily located. Then it goes on and changes its story as far as what they were looking for. Now they are looking for a gun. It then goes on to state that they do not believe that they will find anything out of place.
After I had read through the first two changes of story, I discovered that the FBI is actually looking for an individual that had made some allegations towards Galena Police Officers. The rest of the article is as follows:
Paul Woody, of Joplin, Mo.,was arrested on suspicion of driving under the influence of alcohol after a non-injury accident March 2 in the parking lot of Orthopedic Specialists of the Four States. The FBI was called after allegations were made that officers had assaulted Woody while in custody. There is a report of a medical examination done by Galena, but no comment would be made as far as to what he was being examined for. Woody was held for 48 hours and then released after no formal charges were filed against him.
Now I don't know about you but something here is just not right. There are two many changes in the story about why the FBI was actually investigating, and why they were even in town. Why would the FBI be interested in an alleged assault, isn't that the job of Internal Affairs? Something here just does not sound right to me. I would like to have been a fly in that room to see why they were actually so interested in this particular allegation. There have been many of these types of allegations over the years and the FBI has never come in to investigate, and if they did, it was not made to be public knowledge.
I wanted to post this story because it makes absolutely no sense to me. I feel like there is something that was intentionally left out. I am just really curious to what that might be.
After I had read through the first two changes of story, I discovered that the FBI is actually looking for an individual that had made some allegations towards Galena Police Officers. The rest of the article is as follows:
Paul Woody, of Joplin, Mo.,was arrested on suspicion of driving under the influence of alcohol after a non-injury accident March 2 in the parking lot of Orthopedic Specialists of the Four States. The FBI was called after allegations were made that officers had assaulted Woody while in custody. There is a report of a medical examination done by Galena, but no comment would be made as far as to what he was being examined for. Woody was held for 48 hours and then released after no formal charges were filed against him.
Now I don't know about you but something here is just not right. There are two many changes in the story about why the FBI was actually investigating, and why they were even in town. Why would the FBI be interested in an alleged assault, isn't that the job of Internal Affairs? Something here just does not sound right to me. I would like to have been a fly in that room to see why they were actually so interested in this particular allegation. There have been many of these types of allegations over the years and the FBI has never come in to investigate, and if they did, it was not made to be public knowledge.
I wanted to post this story because it makes absolutely no sense to me. I feel like there is something that was intentionally left out. I am just really curious to what that might be.
Just a follow up
Well, this is week two in the sling, and so far my son has managed to fall and directly hit it three or four times. I am constantly having to remind him to adjust the sling, put his arm back where it belongs and fight with him at bed time to keep it on. He has now started giving me a new facial expression. Before it was just "ok mom", now it is not only the "ok mom" look but it has now gained the"get off of my back" look along with it. It is actually kind of funny, he is still so adorable when he is trying to be serious. Do you know how hard it is to explain to a 6 year old that a bone is fractured and that they have to wear the annoyingly uncomfortable thing for six weeks to let it heal? i will tell you that it is almost impossible. My son understands that he needs to wear it only when it hurts. I have been unsuccessful in making him understand that he has to wear it all the time, well we have just learned that bed time is ok to remove it. And I feel like a broken record telling him to fix it, and I know that he is tired of hearing it. We even went as far as to sew a pocket into the inside of it so that he has a comfortable place to put his hand for better positioning. When he actually has his hand in the pocket, I do not seem to have to tell him to fix it, but that is rare. I have finally realized though, that trying to explain a collar bone fracture to a 6 year old is not an easy task to accomplish.
We had an appointment on Thursday at 10:20, so we arrive for his appointment and we sit for an hour waiting for our turn. When we did finally get to go in the back, they did another x-ray to make sure it was still in place, and escorted us to our room. We were in the room for less than 5 minutes!
Why do these doctors offices even make appointments? They are never on time, and having to sit for an hour after your appointment time has passed, is so frustrating. And if once is not bad enough, we get the absolute enjoyment of doing it again next week. Yeah!
We had an appointment on Thursday at 10:20, so we arrive for his appointment and we sit for an hour waiting for our turn. When we did finally get to go in the back, they did another x-ray to make sure it was still in place, and escorted us to our room. We were in the room for less than 5 minutes!
Why do these doctors offices even make appointments? They are never on time, and having to sit for an hour after your appointment time has passed, is so frustrating. And if once is not bad enough, we get the absolute enjoyment of doing it again next week. Yeah!
Friday, April 9, 2010
Mother leaves toddler at Easter egg hunt
This article is kind of short, but I felt that it was one that needed to be put out there.
On Easter Sunday a mother, her two children(ages 7 and 2), and a friend of the mother, were driving in Joplin on Minnesota Ave. when the mother grabbed her two year old daughter and jumped out of the car. It is reported by officers and witnesses that the mother walked upon an Easter egg hunt (that was being given as a family function) on the 2900 block of South Minnesota Avenue. At approximately 1:20 the mother simply lifted the small child over the fence and walked away. She was picked up a short time later by Joplin Police Officers and arrested and is being charged with first-degree child endangerment. As of Monday, she was still located in the jail with a $5,000 bond. The children's grandfather came into town from Springfield Missouri and picked up both of the children.
How can a parent do this? Matter of fact, what kind of parent can just walk away from their children with absolutely no intention of returning for them? The article stated that this woman was from Pleasant Hope, the question that comes to mind is "Did she come here with exactly that intention"? This whole thing just scrambles me, I am not sure what to think or say. I want to know why the friend did not follow her when she jumped out of a moving vehicle with one child and left the other.
I have made this statement before and I am sure that this is not going to be the last, but, what the heck is going on with people? I do not understand what would make someone do that. I am a parent and this really hits. I could never fathom the thought of walking away from my children with the intentions of never returning. I could not imagine what kind of mind set you would have to be in to be able to do this sort of thing. Ans a 5000 dollar bond! Come on! She will make that and be with her children again until she is convicted, if she is convicted. I wonder why the bail amount is so low. Normally we see these much higher. on the other hand I am not a prosecutor. yet, so until I am. I will most likely keep being confused on why they do things the way that they do them.
Anyways, the children are safe and taken care of for now. Thank god for the grandfather! The children are not in the states custody.
On Easter Sunday a mother, her two children(ages 7 and 2), and a friend of the mother, were driving in Joplin on Minnesota Ave. when the mother grabbed her two year old daughter and jumped out of the car. It is reported by officers and witnesses that the mother walked upon an Easter egg hunt (that was being given as a family function) on the 2900 block of South Minnesota Avenue. At approximately 1:20 the mother simply lifted the small child over the fence and walked away. She was picked up a short time later by Joplin Police Officers and arrested and is being charged with first-degree child endangerment. As of Monday, she was still located in the jail with a $5,000 bond. The children's grandfather came into town from Springfield Missouri and picked up both of the children.
How can a parent do this? Matter of fact, what kind of parent can just walk away from their children with absolutely no intention of returning for them? The article stated that this woman was from Pleasant Hope, the question that comes to mind is "Did she come here with exactly that intention"? This whole thing just scrambles me, I am not sure what to think or say. I want to know why the friend did not follow her when she jumped out of a moving vehicle with one child and left the other.
I have made this statement before and I am sure that this is not going to be the last, but, what the heck is going on with people? I do not understand what would make someone do that. I am a parent and this really hits. I could never fathom the thought of walking away from my children with the intentions of never returning. I could not imagine what kind of mind set you would have to be in to be able to do this sort of thing. Ans a 5000 dollar bond! Come on! She will make that and be with her children again until she is convicted, if she is convicted. I wonder why the bail amount is so low. Normally we see these much higher. on the other hand I am not a prosecutor. yet, so until I am. I will most likely keep being confused on why they do things the way that they do them.
Anyways, the children are safe and taken care of for now. Thank god for the grandfather! The children are not in the states custody.
This week
Easter Sunday was hectic. I had to go to work at 5 am and by the time that I was able to finally get home, it was time to run. We had to pick up kids, run to my mothers, and run to the in-laws before I could finally sit down and take a second to relax. While we were at the in-laws house, our youngest was running through the yard and his cousins dog (great dane) goldie decided to run after him. I was in the house at the time and all that I heard was crying. What I understand is that goldie knocked him over and he hit the ground hard. I checked it out and it seemed to be fine, but thought that it would be bruised and sore for a few days. I was wrong. Come Wednesday he was still complaining and had some pretty tender spots. It was no more than twenty minutes after my husband and I had talked about taking him to the doctor and the school called me to come and pick him up. So, I called the doctor and I was told to take him to the new Orthopedics Center on west 7th. I made him an appointment for the next day.
After we arrived and got all of the paperwork done, they took him back for ex-rays. I have to say that the ex-ray tech was amazing. I have never had a medical professional be truly concerned to the point that she was. She made sure that she did not hurt him with all of the adjustments and she also made sure that his privates were covered so that nothing was affected .
When we got into the room,. we could not have been in there 2 or 3 minutes before the doctor came in. Matthew's collar bone is fractured! The doctor was very good, or as good as you can be, about explaining the injury to my 6 year old.
I wanted to post this this week because I have never had such a good experience with a doctors office. These people are truly remarkable, and I would recommend them to everyone that I know.
After we arrived and got all of the paperwork done, they took him back for ex-rays. I have to say that the ex-ray tech was amazing. I have never had a medical professional be truly concerned to the point that she was. She made sure that she did not hurt him with all of the adjustments and she also made sure that his privates were covered so that nothing was affected .
When we got into the room,. we could not have been in there 2 or 3 minutes before the doctor came in. Matthew's collar bone is fractured! The doctor was very good, or as good as you can be, about explaining the injury to my 6 year old.
I wanted to post this this week because I have never had such a good experience with a doctors office. These people are truly remarkable, and I would recommend them to everyone that I know.
Friday, April 2, 2010
Missouri Gov. gets letter from anti-government group
I have never been the type to keep up with the news when it concerns the government, but, here lately there are things going on that have really captured my attention.
An anti-government group called "The Guardians of the free Republics" have sent a letter to Missouri Gov. Jay Nixon. Governors of other states have also received similar letters stating or better yet demanding that the states chief executors leave their offices within three days. Federal investigators have not yet seen threats of violence in these letters, but are concerned with what others may do. The Guardians of the free Republics website states "that it wants to “restore America” by peacefully dismantling parts of the government"". Oklahoma and Kansas have also received letters of the same sort. As in Missouri nothing has come into action as of this time, but these are events that are being monitored closely.
Although I do not disagree that there need to be some serious changes made to our government, I do not agree that this is the way to go about getting it done. It is one thing to stand up as a group and argue the wrongs, but don not do it by threat. That, in my mind, is childish. We all live in this country and have rules and laws that need to be aided by, there are certain ways to go about stating what we do not agree with and there are also ways to fight those things. This is not one of them. This type of action does nothing more than p--- people o--, and start security measures that should not need to be started in the first place.
The reason that I feel this was is for the simple fact of my family. I have a family that I am trying to raise to be good honest adults. What does actions like this say to them? Nothing good in my book. Yes, there are problems in our government right now, that is why we have elections and they are coming up soon enough.
What is that old saying, oh yes, "Why can't we just get along"!
An anti-government group called "The Guardians of the free Republics" have sent a letter to Missouri Gov. Jay Nixon. Governors of other states have also received similar letters stating or better yet demanding that the states chief executors leave their offices within three days. Federal investigators have not yet seen threats of violence in these letters, but are concerned with what others may do. The Guardians of the free Republics website states "that it wants to “restore America” by peacefully dismantling parts of the government"". Oklahoma and Kansas have also received letters of the same sort. As in Missouri nothing has come into action as of this time, but these are events that are being monitored closely.
Although I do not disagree that there need to be some serious changes made to our government, I do not agree that this is the way to go about getting it done. It is one thing to stand up as a group and argue the wrongs, but don not do it by threat. That, in my mind, is childish. We all live in this country and have rules and laws that need to be aided by, there are certain ways to go about stating what we do not agree with and there are also ways to fight those things. This is not one of them. This type of action does nothing more than p--- people o--, and start security measures that should not need to be started in the first place.
The reason that I feel this was is for the simple fact of my family. I have a family that I am trying to raise to be good honest adults. What does actions like this say to them? Nothing good in my book. Yes, there are problems in our government right now, that is why we have elections and they are coming up soon enough.
What is that old saying, oh yes, "Why can't we just get along"!
Family
For about the last month, my son has been acting up in school and at home. It has not been as bad as it normally is but it is still enough to get him into a little trouble at school. I finally had to sit down the other day and try to figure out what may be going on with him and why he is acting out.
What I have come to realize is that recently, neither I nor my better half has had as much time as normal to spend with him. He has gotten used to me being home when he gets home and around him to play or what ever all of the time. With me working and Jas busy, I think that he is feeling a little alone. There are other signs that are leaning toward this conclusion but nothing that is appropriate to discuss online.
I am torn between feeling really bad about not being able to be there for my son as much as I would like or as much as he seems to be needing lately, and being responsible in this time of need that our family is going through. It really makes me feel bad to have to punish him for acting up when I know that he is just doing it to get some attention, even though it is bad attention. On the other hand, I have to be the parent and do what is right in teaching him that this behavior is not appropriate.
On the other end of family in dismay, my husband is starting to feel the effects of being laid off, and is getting depressed, I am not sure how to comfort him. I have tried to reassure him that we are in this together and that all does not lye on his shoulders and that everything will be ok, but it does not seem to be helping him out much. I pains me to see him looking so upset and to know that there is nothing more that I can do to ease him other than to keep reassuring him that all will work out in the end.
There are many families in this world that are going through the exact same things that we are at this moment, I do not feel alone in my struggles, but, sometimes do find myself asking or even praying for an answer or some sort of comfort in this time of need.
What I have come to realize is that recently, neither I nor my better half has had as much time as normal to spend with him. He has gotten used to me being home when he gets home and around him to play or what ever all of the time. With me working and Jas busy, I think that he is feeling a little alone. There are other signs that are leaning toward this conclusion but nothing that is appropriate to discuss online.
I am torn between feeling really bad about not being able to be there for my son as much as I would like or as much as he seems to be needing lately, and being responsible in this time of need that our family is going through. It really makes me feel bad to have to punish him for acting up when I know that he is just doing it to get some attention, even though it is bad attention. On the other hand, I have to be the parent and do what is right in teaching him that this behavior is not appropriate.
On the other end of family in dismay, my husband is starting to feel the effects of being laid off, and is getting depressed, I am not sure how to comfort him. I have tried to reassure him that we are in this together and that all does not lye on his shoulders and that everything will be ok, but it does not seem to be helping him out much. I pains me to see him looking so upset and to know that there is nothing more that I can do to ease him other than to keep reassuring him that all will work out in the end.
There are many families in this world that are going through the exact same things that we are at this moment, I do not feel alone in my struggles, but, sometimes do find myself asking or even praying for an answer or some sort of comfort in this time of need.
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