Life throws curves

One year ago, I went to the doctor and discovered that I had a lump in my breast. I was told it was nothing to worry about because there was some pain associated with it and that it was more than likely a cist. Well, one year has gone by and we have recently discovered another lump, and this time no pain.
After a lot of procrastination, I finally made an appointment for the dreaded mammogram. I was a little freaked out, I will admit, waiting for the testing date. When the day finally arrived, I did the mammogram and the ultrasound. When the doctor came back into the room I wanted to die. The words that came out of her mouth were straight forward and honest and scared me to death.
Yesterday I was told that the lumps in my breast are not cists, they are not limp nowds, and they are not the type of cancer that you can see. What I was told, was that there is a certain type of breast cancer that will not show up on these tests. I have been scheduled for a surgical consult to try and figure out what it is. Because at this point, they are not sure what it is. I have to tell you that this is the hardest news I have ever received in my entire life. I can not even put into words how I feel at this moment. All that I do know is that I am trying not to cry at all times and I am trying to act like nothing is wrong for the sake of our children. How do you tell your children something like this? I mean, who they even be able to understand. Telling my mother was bad enough, I tried not to have to tell my mother in law, but she could her something in my voice and told my sister in law that she thought that I did not like her anymore.
I do not know how to deal with this, I am not sure how to feel, or how to act. All that I do know is that I have got to try and hold it together for the sake of my family, when all that I want to do is to fall apart. Everyone keeps asking "What can I do" and all that I seem to be able to spit out is "pray". I just want to cry, I want to fall apart to tell you the truth, I want to stay in bed and not get out until it is all over with. Getting up to go to class this morning was very hard. Even writing blogs today was a major push. It is 11:30 and I am finally making myself write them.
How do I do this? How do I stay positive? How do I do what is right for the sake of my children and my family? I want to cry at every moment, I have never been this scared in my life and I am not sure how to feel.